Since my return from the Land of the Chinos I’ve been attempting to sort out all my clothes and determine which ones are worth keeping and which are headed for St Vincent de Paul. However, there’s only so much Ralph Lauren polo shirtage one can take before becoming completely desensitised to the subtle difference between “polished classic” and “annoying wanker”.
So friends, please tell me what to do. Should the shoes stay or go?
It’s really nice to be back in Australia. With the internet at her fingertips it was tempting for this traveller to think she was still in touch with everything going on back home. Wrong! A few mind-blowing, extremely important discoveries:
- Britney Spears’ ex-husband and Australian football personality Robert “Dipper” DiPierdomenico are about to appear in a reality TV show together. (And they said it would never happen.) Am I dreaming?
- Apparently Australia now has an answer to Justin Bieber. Oh hang on, the 17-year-old tween magnet explains that he’s actually “the anti-Bieber at the moment”. Um, okay.
- Streets has released a “Family Favourites” box of 20 ice creams comprising Golden Gaytimes, chocolate Paddle Pops, pine lime Splices and classic Magnums. There are no words to describe my excitement.
That third one has tipped the scales. That’s it, I’m never leaving Australia again.
Worth standing 2.5 hours for, even amongst all the crazed Justin Bieber fans. I might bring a hip flask next time, though.
One of the pitfalls of writing a blog that’s all about questioning
conventional things that suck accepted wisdoms is that you might give the impression you’re a cynical old bitch. Just to demonstrate that I’m not completely jaded, here is the first snow of the season in New York City as seen from my apartment window today.
I’m an Aussie and I don’t know what to do with snow. I’m excited. I feel the urge to run to the supermarket and stock up on industrial quantities of batteries and liquor.